rednecksaywhat? Picture of LaGrange City Mayor and High School Principal

So surely everyone has heard about the South and the particular dialect, words, and phrases which are used in everyday conversation. Listed are the top 3 stories which have all happened to Hank over the last month.

#3- Get'em with gas! That'll kill em!

While trimming some trees in the front yard of the house Hank and Steve are working on, they were attacked by a swarm of hornets. Needless to say, the hornets won the first round. However, in GA the country folk know how to get back at them there hornets. After a few bottles of gasoline down the hornets nest, only a few remaining hornets lived to see another day. The landscaper (who could not of been more than 19, but married for a couple years...do the quick math...) said that gasoline works all the time. "Juz don't smoke-round the hole when you pour the gas in." Thanks for the advice!!!

#2-You favor Dr. Johnson the dentist...Y-all Kin?

Upon meeting a local roofer...who had very few teeth...(go figure) After a few minutes of talking with him about an upcoming project, he looks right at Hank and says, "You favor Dr. Johnson...Y-all Kin? The translation was apparently Hank looked like a local dentist and the roofer wanted to know if we happened to be related at all.

#1-Juriand-Firs

Just before closing on our house, Hank called the insurance lady to get a quote for the house. After going through a few questions about personal belongings, tools, electronics, and miscellaneous items, she asked Hank about his Juriand-Firs. Perplexed, Hank quickly covered the phone and asked Steve for assistance. Steve had no idea what she said so Hank said "I don't know." After a few more minutes of questioning on the phone the insurance lady asked again, "How about your Juriand-Firs? Thinking this was some new thing that only existed in Georgia, Hank said, "I'm sorry, I really don't know what that is." The lady quickly responded, "You know, like yur, gold, diamonds, necklaces..." "AAAHHHH, you mean Jewelry and Furs.",

Cleaning up in GA

Well after a month of settling in, the Armstrong family has finally been able to take a quick breather just long enough to give a quick update. Currently the temp is 65 degrees and we are loving every minute...Sorry AZ people!

Chase has started preschool twice a week and loves going to Miss Mary-Kate's house (his teacher) Although Hank was a little concerned after the 3 weeks straight of asking what Chase learned about in school, and his response was "The letter F!" Hank always thought maybe when the kids were young to focus on the letter "A" to set the expectation high. At least we're only dealing with the letter F and not the F word...

Nolan has started coming out of his shell more and loves being outside. He will for sure be the kid bringing in pet snakes, lizards, bugs, and anything else he can find. He loves the backyard and cries if he isn't able to go out when he wants. The other day it was pouring rain and he stood sobbing at the backyard because Jess wouldn't let him out in fear that mud might be tracked back through the home. Nolan has also started whistling since being in Georgia. It's not a traditional whistle, but more of a scream mixed with a stutter. The best part about it is how he puts his hands over his mouth to enhance the pitch and range of the whistle.

Jessica is starting to adjust and has been thrown into the fast lane of Georgia activities around town. In between running, the gym, and cleaning (in that order) she manages to keep the boys on track, juggle 2 different play groups, a monthly dinner group, nightly dinner for the family, all the accounting for the business and a host of miscellaneous other chores and duties. She truly deserves the mother/wife of the year award.

Hank has been working steady 12 hour days for the last month trying to complete the first house. As of today, the only things left are a few miscellaneous light fixtures, door fixtures, closet shelves and cleaning. We are hoping to have the official open house next Tuesday. We will keep you posted and send a link with pictures.

Almost Packed and Ready

While the sorting, organizing, separating, throwing away, and packing went under way, Chase decided to take a break from his labor intensive day and curl up in one of the moving boxes with a nice book. When asked about his feelings on the upcoming move, Chase said, "Sometimes we go to the airport on a bus and then the plane goes to Minnesota. Then we go on the plane again to Georgia and see Aunt Manda, Dukie and Uncle Steve-o...and the moving truck is coming in 8 or 10 or 20 days!"

CHILD VS. WILD

Discovery Channel MAN VS. WILD host, author and seasoned adventurer Bear Grylls began a lifetime of exploration at an early age. Bear grew up on the Isle of Wight, and as a young boy would go mountain climbing with his father.

Nolan Armstrong is no different and is one of Bears biggest fans. In a recent episode, Bear showed how to survive in harsh desert environments for weeks at a time. Nolan took careful notes and decided to give it a try. With the help of aunt Aarean's caramel bars, Nolan demonstrated how to sneak up on the caramel bar without being spotted. He attacked the caramel bar delivering it's fatal blow. Nolan on the verge of starvation did not wait to build a fire or even skin the caramel bar. Instead, he devoured the bar like a primitive caveman.

Discovery Channel has been reported saying that they are currently in negotiations with Nolan's managers and publicist trying to develop the new hit reality TV show scheduled to air this fall, "CHILD VS. WILD."

Apple Juice Meets Toe

Some bystanders said they could hear the cursing for miles. Yes Monday was a trying time in the Armstrong household. While pulling a brand new completely full 1 gallon of Costco's finest apple juice out of the refrigerator, Jessica attention was diverted for a Milli-second. Just enough time for the apple juice to slip from her Kung-Fu grip and fall almost 6 feet landing directly on her toe.

Luckily Chase only repeats certain words that his parents mutter but I think even at his young age, he knew better than to repeat any words muttered from Jessica. Nolan thankfully has only begun to attempt the English language, we believe his native tongue is a mix between Swahili and German.

Although the apple juice crushed Jessica's toe and left a bruise over a majority of her foot, she thankfully was still able to make it to the gym that day. Tomorrow, her plans include running 5 miles and chasing the kids around the house.

The Winds Are Blowin'

In what some are calling natures fury at it's best, Monday night's storm proved to be more than Chase and Nolan could tolerate.

Resembling a Southern California fire, dust, (as seen in the picture to the right), rain, lightning, thunder, and wind whipping at speeds in excess of 60mph. were some of the exciting activities of the night. After recent storms during this years monsoon season, Chase was quoted today saying "Uh-Oh Dad, it looks like another tree is blowing right over in our backyard." When asked for his thoughts about the storm, Nolan said, "Purple..."

Georgia Bound

It is official! The Armstrong's have just reported in an exclusive that they are truly on their way to Georgia. February 12, 2003 marked 270 years since General James Oglethorpe and his shipload of settlers reached their new home and founded the colony of Georgia. The last of the 13 British colonies on the Atlantic seaboard, Georgia was founded on February 12, 1733 at the present site of the city of Savannah.

When asked how they were going to cope with the drastic change from desert living in the west, Jessica Armstrong was quoted saying, "Well Y'All I think we ought bee goin' to the Waffle House and gettin ourselves some bisketz." We were unable to reach Governor Sonny Perdue of Georgia for comment on his feelings of the Armstrong move.